Y it happens that the time changes in such a way that you can't do anythng except watching how things are being unfold.
Y it happens that we have to leave behind things and move on with those memories....which ofcouse brings tears to our eyes...!
It is stange but true, whether you want or not, life will move on..but I realised that holding back ourselves is not an easy way to escape...or say the thing I did today, was not what I expected from my own self till date.
A friend called me and asked for something, which I could have never denied. But just coz I was not in mood or say was pre-occupied with so many thoughts that I didn't helped him at all. I know he understands what I am going through and his words, 'I Trust You' were enough to make me feel better but I know I am at fault and just can't ignore it.
Am feeling guilty today coz this was my sweet friend who stood besides me. I saw him standing next to me even if i called him at 2 at night....!It is not that I was trying to return what he did for me, but realised that it was his trust in me that he asked me something, which is important for him.
I am sorry but I just don't know what to do and I know reading this post won't make him feel good. But it is just something that pinched me hard, which I am not able to keep in my heart...!
9 comments:
I think you are being a bit harsh on yourself. We all go through the odd tough phase. I am sure that your friend will understand. That's what friends are for.
friends are there for to be besides you for ever...but not to be taken granted for.
i know you must have never meant that, but at times, when he needed you the most and imagine, you were the one he could count on, he felt ditched. aloof and all alone.
though not intentional, but still it must have hurt him as well...definite of that.
though people call TRUST to be the strongest bond connecting two people, but ironicaly, is most vulnerable as well.
didnt want to sound offensive, but thts how i feel about it.
My advice...i'll keep it to myself, but had i been in your shoes, i would have called and apologised
just read this...thought of sharing it
10th Grade:-
As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair,
and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it.
After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.She said 'thanks'
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
11th grade:-
The phone rang. On the other end,
it was her. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how
her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over
because she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her
soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips,
she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks'
and gave me a kiss
on the cheek..I want to tell her,
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Senior year:-
One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said,
"hes not gonna go" well,
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that
if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did.
That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Graduation:-
A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body
floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend,
thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Marriage:-
Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it.
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Death:-
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
'I stare at him wishing he was mine,
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it.
I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !
.........'I wish I did too...'
I thought to my self, and I cried.
I called him and apologised...n his soft and understanding nature made me felt more guilty, which led to this blog entry.
But one thing I can never forget...his words...the way he explained that I was very much present there when he needed me...Am seriously lucky to have friends like him...!
friendship is the gift the god has given us...
and they r always there for each other...
meseries r the time wch makes the bond stronger...
and yes fightin with them is like fightin with out own shadow...
Life teaches us lessons to remind us that we r humans.And God has blessed u with nice people around u. I knw u r also very nice but sometimes u need to feel the niceness of others.
So kool down babes.It happens.
hmmm.. i already told you that u r a brave girl.. and your confessing such a thing just reaffirms wat i said...:)
all of us are humans, and are likely to make mistakes.. but the gud ppl are those who realise theirs, and better still, make sure that they do not repeat it in future.. and i m sure that u r a gud girl...:):)
:)
Ok...This post especially is a good one..but I will be an Honest critic and not JUST a critic. :) Here' the deal..Dont let things get on to you. Dont show ur weekness on ur blog. I m sure u dont want everyone to know ur wekness. Secondly, the depth that you want to convey can be done in a more subtle way. Dun kick my BUTT..but I am being frank enough being a good friend of yours. But keep up the good work. Last suggestion, work on your language. No OFFENSE meant. I am NO AMARTYA SEN..but better than Him...lol..!! Cheers
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